Since I wasn’t being active on my blog when we found out if I was having a boy or girl, I didn’t get to do some grand reveal for you guys. But don’t worry, I didn’t do any grand reveal for anyone. So you didn’t miss out on anything.
I’m quite the impatient type. So the idea of waiting till birth to find out if Baby is a boy or girl is just NOT something I could do. Some people can. I couldn’t.
I needed to know!
I needed to be able to plan. Nursery decor, clothes, etc etc etc.
And honestly, I needed to know in order to help me connect with Baby. Plus, Boyfriend’s kiddos were dying to know too.
From the moment I told Boyfriend I was pregnant, he said it was a boy. He was convinced. He’d been right with “knowing” the gender for his other kids (so he says), so he was certain I was having a boy.
I, on the other hand, was not convinced. And I was disappointed in the idea of having a boy. I’d always wanted a girl. And years ago, Boyfriend had a dream of him with a baby girl who looked like me. It was a premonition of him with OUR daughter. Yet, here he is telling me I’m having a boy.
The more I got to thinking about it though, a boy might not be so bad. I’m not exactly a glamour girl. I rarely wear make-up. I suck at fixing hair. I just don’t do the whole girly-girl thing. So, in that respect, I realized a boy would be easier for me. And I started to come around to the idea of having a boy.
Then, around 15.5 weeks, we scheduled an appointment for a gender ultrasound at a private place (not associated with any kind of doctors office). I actually looked into a couple of different places, and chose the one I did because they were the cheapest.
On the one hand, it was a great experience as far as getting to see Baby. But it was a crappy experience as far as getting to find out the gender. Baby was being super difficult that day. Didn’t want to uncross or unfold legs at ALL. And, based on the website for this place, if they can’t determine the gender, they will have you come back in a week to check again. That’s what they should have done for us.
But they didn’t.
Despite not getting a “potty shot” during the ultrasound, the lady that was doing it said she was 100% certain about the baby’s gender. I was having a boy.
I expected to feel SOMETHING after that ultrasound, but I didn’t. No excitement. No disappointment. Just. Nothing. Annoyance with Boyfriend for being right, but that was it. And that just upset me more.
All of a sudden, I knew what my baby was, but I still didn’t feel connected to it at all.
We told The Kiddos they were going to have a little brother. Oldest Child wasn’t surprised. Despite the fact that she said she’d rather have another sister, she expected it to be a boy. Little Bit was disappointed, because she wanted a sister. But, she was still super excited simply over the fact that she was going to get to finally be a big sister. But Boy Child, his response was the greatest. He squealed like a girl with excitement over getting a brother. He wasn’t going to be the only boy anymore!
However, we told very few people about our trip to the private scan place. We didn’t want to officially announce what we were having until we had the actual 20-week anatomy scan from the doctor.
The night before my 20-week ultrasound (the 2nd and last ultrasound my doctor will actually do unless I go past my due date), I went with my family to a private scan place (a different one than I’d gone to) for my sister to find out if she was having a boy or girl (I found out on Easter that she was also pregnant, and due a month after me). On the one hand, I was annoyed with her urgency to find out what she was having and the need to schedule her appointment before I found out. My sister and I don’t get along super well, and this is just one of the many ways she’s been a butt during our pregnancies.
So, we’re at my sister’s gender reveal scan, and she finds out she’s having a girl. And I get so upset. She’s getting the little girl that I wanted. And my nephew – he was PISSED! He wanted a little brother. Not a girl. And since he wasn’t getting a brother, he said that mine “better be a boy”. At least that much was amusing.
I had invited my mom to come with Boyfriend and I for my 20-week scan. Partly because I just felt like that is what I was SUPPOSED to do, not so much because it’s really what I wanted to do.
And OMG! Let me tell you, that 20-week scan was full of surprises!
They start off checking all the body parts and measuring stuff, and everything is looking great.
And then. The gender part comes.
And baby is a….. GIRL!
The emotional roller coaster was insane! Excitement. Shock. Disbelief. Confusion. All of which we had to hide from my mother, because she didn’t know we’d gone for a private scan and been told I was having a boy.
My mom didn’t stay after the ultrasound for my appointment with the midwife (I’m actually seeing the midwives at the practice I go to, not the doctors). So, as soon as the midwife came in, we immediately asked her about the gender and how we were confused because we’d been told something different just 4.5 weeks previously. We showed her the picture from the private ultrasound (the side view shot they used to “prove” it was a boy). And even for someone who admitted she wasn’t great at reading ultrasounds, she said “that’s not a boy” and how you can’t even really tell from that picture. The midwife when back to ultrasound tech and they double checked, and yes, it was real, I was carrying a girl.
Turns out, I am not the first patient the practice I go to had seen that had been told the wrong thing by the private place I went. The quality and accuracy of this place had apparently gone downhill in recent months.
Needless to say, Boyfriend and I were both in complete shock when we left the doctor’s office, and we were still trying to process everything that had just happened.
We hadn’t been gone from the doctor’s office long (maybe 20 minutes) when I got a call from my mom. My sister was bugging her to know what I was having, but she wasn’t telling my sister, because I wanted it. So I turn around and call my sister. And rather than being excited for me, my sister is pissed at me. For not “including her” enough. For not calling her until my mom told me to call her. Nevermind that I may be dealing with things and nevermind that we hadn’t even been gone from the doctor long. She yelled at me on the phone and then hung up on me. As if my I wasn’t on enough of an emotional roller coaster as it was.
It took a little time, and a LOT of processing, but I finally got super excited about having a girl.
I finally felt connected to Baby Girl.
I’m still a little freaked out about the idea of having to learn how to fix hair, but I’m sure I’ll learn and figure it out.
For now, I can’t wait to meet my little girl!