When I shared a few weeks ago my desire to start a series about why I struggle with my faith, I honestly expected a lot of backlash or negative response. Growing up going to church in the Bible Belt, we’re taught to simply accept the teachings of the Bible and the church, to not question it, and to simply dismiss as inaccurate anything that contradict those things. And I guess as a child, I did that. But now that I’m older, it’s no longer that easy.
I have this mild obsession with the show Ghost Adventures. I can’t help it. It’s intriguing. But what drew me to this show was a sense of feeling like I could relate.
Because I believe in the paranormal.
I know, I know. Completely not something a good Christian is supposed to say, but it’s true. And I mean, full on, I believe in ghosts and spirits and premonitions and the whole nine yards.
It’s all very real for me.
I don’t know when I realized that it was something I believed in, or when I realized not everyone did. But I believe, and I know it’s controversial.
My grandfather grew up in a very rural area of North Carolina. Unfortunately, the house he grew up in was bulldozed to accommodate widening of the road it was off of before I ever had a chance to see it. There is a photo, however, of when my cousins got to visit that house when they were young.
I wish I knew where this particular photo is so that I could scan it and include it in this post, but I don’t.
But, in this photo, one of my cousins is standing on the porch to the old house. The door is open. And behind my cousin, peeking a head around to look out the door, is an apparition.
Some would probably argue it was just dust or light-matrixing. But the consensus between my mom and I is that it is my great-grandfather looking out the door.
And then there’s an old family homeplace from my dad’s side of the family.
We knew the house existed somewhere outside of Blue Ridge, GA, but we’d never seen it. So we went adventuring one day. And it was actually very easy to find, because it’s right next to the road.
I could give all kinds of history on this house and the land there, but I’ll stick to my story of the day we were at the house.
As you can tell from the photo above, the house was in the process of being renovated and restored when we were there (and I think it still is, though I’m not certain). The back of the house was not enclosed though, so we went in to take a look around (despite the “no trespassing” sign… whoops).
You guys. I was walking in the house that my great-great-great-grandfather built after the Civil War, that he later passed on to one of his sons. This is where my family first settled when they came to Georgia from Tennessee (at least this line of them).
And when we were walking around on the second floor, I SWEAR we were being watched. To me, it felt like their was a little girl up there hiding. I think it was both a mix of being scared and trying to play hide-and-seek with me. At least, that’s how it felt to me. Either way, there was a little girl there. I didn’t see anything. But I swear, she was there. I really can’t explain it beyond that.
Look, I get it. These stories probably make me sound mildly nuts (and maybe I am). But it’s just two examples.
This is real for me.
I feel drawn to certain places or people or things, and I can’t really explain why.
And then there are the places that I can barely get close to, because something tells me it’s not a good place or that something not good/safe is there.
And this is NOT something they teach you about in Sunday School. If anything, they teach that ghosts don’t exist. That it’s all the devil trying to lead you astray.
But I don’t believe that. I believe there are good and bad spirits. I believe there are good and bad ghosts. I believe there are things going on in our world that we can’t explain, that aren’t in the Bible, but that are very, very real.
But when believing those things is so completely against the Christian teachings I grew up with, it leaves me in a state of confusion and questioning what to believe (on both sides — faith and with the paranormal).
So where do you stand when it comes to this kind of thing? Do you believe in the paranormal? Do you have some kind of experience that has happened to you that you just can’t completely explain? Do you have a belief in the paranormal that causes you to question or feel torn about your Christian beliefs/upbringing? I’m curious. Let me know below!